7 Goal-Getting Strategies for the Family

Do you find it’s hard to stay motivated beyond January 1st? How about keeping your family on track when it comes to not only setting, but also achieving goals?

While many set resolutions, come mid-January things simply seem less lustrous and sparkly and many people lose verve to see their self-promises through.

I recently tackled this topic on" “The Mother Side” for ABC’s Good Morning Washington because the approach for adults is simply not the same as for children.

Here are seven strategies I love for myself and the entire family:

1. Use the morning hours to motivate. I've read countless times that as a writer your best work is done in the morning when the brain is fresh. This is true too for setting an intention for the day. I like month-by-month goals or motivational themes (January: family fitness; February: cooking healthfully; March: cleaning closets) that can be used to focus the start of each morning. Whether it's meditation to calm or writing down in a mindfulness journal your daily goals, it's just beginning followed by consistency that will help you towards building better motivation.

2. If you give motivation, you get motivation! I'm a big complimentor with complete strangers, with friends and certainly with family. When it comes to my kids, a compliment from mom is highly praised thing. But not all kids appreciate a mother's words of advice when it comes to motivation because all they hear is: do this, do that. Their motivation needs to be stoked, and really needs to come from within! 

a) So try this: give a compliment on a recent task to action.

“Rowan, you did a great job putting away your books the other day!”

b) Then give options as you instill motivation:

I know you are so good at sorting! For just 15 minutes, would you rather put your laundry away or organize your balls in the garage?

c) Notice: the short timeframe. Often these tasks do take longer, but the goal is to simply get started, and this is not just true for kids but for adults too!

3. Motivation & Teenagers: they are so busy and have their own mood about doing anything so you have to meet them where they are: support when they are motivated—because it ebbs and flows—and give them the tools they need to realize their vision. 

For the New Year my daughter decided upon herself to re-organize her messy closet and room. She organized things out of boxes, stowed old dolls she no longer wasn't using and created a bag for Goodwill. Then she told me she needed storage bins, had her measure her space, and we looked up coupons and went to the store to purchase them. She was so so excited! And showed off new closet to me and her father with a great sense of accomplishment.

4. Tackle boring family tasks in bursts:

a) rather than clean the living room by yourself and feel bitter that you are the only one doing it, have the whole family get involved and get it done together!

b) always take one thing with you out of a room that doesn't belong there and put it away. We have three levels, so I find if I'm headed to the basement to get something, I'll look around and try and find something that belongs down there. This gradual approach to cleaning is great maintenance.

c) assign tasks that you might not like, but others in your family do! I like washing dishes, but I don't love vacuuming. Hello, husband!

5. Jolt the cycle: If you have a lull of motivation, and this has happened to me ("I cannot seem to get anything done today! / Why bother, I feel like I'm going around in circles. / No one will notice if I don't get this done.") then you have to do something that jolts the cycle. 

• Maybe listen to your favorite music while you work.

• Get outside and take a brief walk. You’ll find better concentration when you return to your task.

• Take the kids to a Saturday morning matinee unexpectedly! It brings a different feeling to the day to have a fun surprise, and the remainder of the day is completely ahead of you!

• Take a break and write a short letter to someone you've been meaning to: longhand in a card!

• Get outside, even in winter, and do some family sports! We just went on a ski trip, and today we played tennis together.

6. Create a support group.

I have a big project I've been putting off but am really feeling now is coming of season. So I'm starting a creative support group with a couple of other friends. We are all creatives but in different fields, and we plan to hold each other accountable for our side projects! And, drink wine and talk about our kids too!

7. Track your happiness: then copy it. 

Notice when you are happiest and the most motivated: what is causing the happiness? Is it because you are getting things done, it is because you are serving others, is it because you feel satisfied and content? As a writer, I'm always looking for patterns, and in life you can do this too. Look for the pattern when you are most happiest and mimic this behavior in small doses each day.

To catch the segment and fantastic tips on staying motivated as a family, watch here!